Wednesday, November 30, 2011

the tally

number of items i found actually in the laundry basket: 5
number of items i found on the floor or in the closet of dean's room: 15
number of items i found full of *poop that had molded, necessitating their removal from our house: 3

i love laundry day.

*this poopy group of items was hidden in the laundry basket, not by my almost-five-year-old, who gets my wrath every time he poops in the wrong place, but by my seven-year-old, who is going to hear it from me when he gets home from school today. hope he's saving up for a new pair of shorts.

Friday, November 11, 2011

airing of grievances

dear person in charge of mandating lo-flow toilets:

is it really more environmentally responsible to make people flush FIVE TIMES and STILL have poop stuck in the toilet? why are we gently cajoling our waste to the sewer and letting it stay if it doesn't want to go right now? i'm not worried about the self-esteem of the lump of waste that is making itself comfortable in my toilet right now.

i thought part of the point of having indoor plumbing was making the gross stuff disappear--on the first flush--so the bathroom doesn't smell. and not attracting flies. and being all sanitary and stuff.

i just wanted you to know that, thanks to you, i'm "saving the environment," one gratuitous flush at a time.