...and here she is!

 

 

 

brynn mei
born: 1 july 2011 at 12:54 am
weight: 8 lbs
length: 20 in

 

 

 

 

her big brothers still adore her after two whole weeks. we're all adjusting pretty well to the new addition, although "normal life" hasn't really begun in earnest yet. we'll see how things go when i'm the only adult in the house with all the little people. :)

a little late...

 

certain of you asked me for a "belly picture," and so i'm giving it to you. this was taken on my birthday, june 9, roughly four weeks before the baby was born. does it count as a belly picture if i am no longer pregnant when i post it?

an update

well folks, it's been a while, as usual. i thought it might be time for an update. biggest news: we moved to a lovely house with lots of space and a yard. and it's ours. other biggest news: we're having a baby girl next month.

troy is still happy in his job at google--and will continue to be happy for at least the next five years (remember how we just bought a house?). his main complaint is too many meetings and not enough coding. and short weeks are rough, such as the week of memorial day...

my belly continues to grow, and the baby (a girl!) continues to be very active, especially when i am winding down. although, to be fair, i feel like winding down several times in a day. i hit the five-week mark today, but no guarantees. i just hope she doesn't come on the seventh--anytime after that would be fine with me (dean, troy, and troy's dad were all born on the 7th). i'm due on the 9th.

the kids are growing and becoming their own little selves. dean is almost done with his first grade year. we switched schools when we moved, and it turned out just fine. he came home from his first day and said, "everyone is my friend, mom!" so that was a big relief. in fact, when we went to the school openhouse, a couple of moms were excited to meet "dean's mom" because their kids talked about him all the time. so apparently he's quite the big man on campus. for that openhouse, dean had to be in costume. his class has been learning about the rain forest, and everyone had picked an animal to write a report on. dean picked a gecko. good thing it's so close to halloween and we could just buy a ready-made gecko costume... here are some pictures of him in his awesome costume: https://picasaweb.google.com/kmaurine/20110527TheGecko?authkey=Gv1sRgCL6D-IvM9OeBXQ#5611548470943289394 mostly, i was glad that it was acceptable to him. my friend came and helped me make all the pieces the night before. gotta love parent-homework. :) also new in dean's life is a piano teacher. we've had a few lessons now, and so far it's "soo boring--why can't i play the guitar?" i think we've made some strides this week though (getting him to actually practice two days in a row may have something to do with that), so we'll see how far we get. i've heard the music program at his new school is pretty great, so he may decide to branch out in a couple years. meanwhile, we're twinkling little stars on the piano.

max continues to prompt bursts of laughter from his mother. he came inside one morning recently, shortly after attending a pirate-themed birthday party, looking like this: https://picasaweb.google.com/kmaurine/20110505EasterAndEarlyMay?authkey=Gv1sRgCNDaut6vnIXlLg#5614953664350700706 good thing he's around to protect me from bad guys. whew! also new on the max behavior list is hiding himself in dark places so he can snack in peace. two nights ago i was downstairs talking to troy when i noticed a tortilla chip peeking out from under the door of the closet under the stairs. i didn't remember it peeking out five minutes before. i thought that was odd because the light wasn't on in there, but i opened the door anyway, and there was max, chillin' in the dark with a bag of tortilla chips he had filched from the kitchen. it was one of those he-probably-should-be-scolded-but-it's-too-funny-not-to-laugh moments. any advice on how to laugh later? it was just such a surprise! anyway, he has another year before kindergarten since his birthday is in january, and dean is excited to be a third-grader when his little brother joins him at school.

reed is a charmer. everywhere we go, he says, "hi," to people, often several times until they realize he's speaking to them. but he always gets a warm response from people. i've gotten so used to it that i wonder why nobody looks at me when i'm out without the kids. he seems to be pretty empathetic for a two-year-old. today at church a lady was speaking and got emotional, and reed said, "oh, i'm sorry!" in response. he has to wear his shoes all the time, so he's ready to go at a moment's notice. just in case it's time to go to the park, you know. he likes to share--most of the time--and lately i've been encouraged at how he treats other people's babies. i don't know how he'll respond when he realizes our baby will not be leaving and may even compete for toys someday, but he's very gentle with them right now, and will go get a toy when he sees a baby crying. here's a current picture of reed, to be fair:

https://picasaweb.google.com/kmaurine/20110505EasterAndEarlyMay?authkey=Gv1sRgCNDaut6vnIXlLg#5614966467562698418

that's not to say that i'm not utterly spent by the end of every day. or that all three of the angelic creatures i've just described aren't likely to be running wild, screaming, spreading dirt and destruction. their favorite games to play now involve guns, good guys and bad guys, bows and arrows, tanks, terrorists, aliens, and mostly lots of screaming. so you can imagine how quiet and peaceful it is pretty regularly at our house. but now i can send them outside and have a minute to myself before someone comes in with a scrape or a grievance. they do play together well, whether it's a crazy running game outside or legos in someone's bedroom (hopefully not mine), and we have a mostly harmonious home life, for which i am very grateful. time to add more chaos to the mix! bring on the baby!

this feels more like a christmas letter than a regular update kind of thing, but i guess that's about how regularly i've been updating. sorry about that. mostly our summer plans are: have a baby, and then get used to having a baby again. the end. i'm looking forward to seeing my mom when she comes out to help with the kids and the new baby, and troy's sister is coming for a couple days, and then his mom and dad will be here to see the baby and help out. so we're excited! lots of changes in the walker family this year.

moving day!

well, folks, it's finally happened. we bought a house. and yesterday, we moved in.

hooray!

status so far:

the downstairs is looking pretty good. kitchen, dining and family rooms are functional, and we lack the furniture for the living room (so excited for a new couch!)

the boys' room is slowly getting less treacherous for those of us carrying a basketball around the middle.

our new washer and dryer are getting a workout (i keep finding more pee-soaked items to wash).

there are empty shelves in the kitchen cupboards, and i think we have unpacked all the kitchen stuff. whoa.

so we're probably halfway done with the unpacking, and troy is going back to work tomorrow, having rebuilt a bunkbed and crib, and unpacked and found homes for countless items in the kitchen. good head start! pictures when it looks presentable (after i find the camera).

thank you. that is all.

the many beards of santa

we found max in his bed, under the covers. at 6:15 pm. anytime a kid is voluntarily in his bed before bedtime is an occasion for further investigation.

me: are you going to sleep?

max: no, i'm just relaxing and thinking.

me: relaxing and thinking?

max: yeah. i'm thinking what santa looks like.

troy: does santa have a brown beard?

max: no, he has a white beard! a white beard on his shirt. and he has a white beard on his hat.

since we last left our heroes

many things have happened. i think it all kind of started when we discovered that baby #4 will be joining us in july (no, it was not a surprise, and yes, we are finally having a girl:), necessitating a bigger place to live.

this bit of news brought up The Big Question (TBQ) about where exactly we would be settling down in our bigger place to live (i.e., somewhere with more than one bathroom and a kitchen that would admit more than one person at a time--oh, and at least another bedroom, and a yard). then troy got a raise, which broadened our search to include (much to my dismay at the time) our current neck of the woods. so before actually answering TBQ, i started looking around here, sort of half-heartedly, but with a realtor, so sort of seriously too. i say half-heartedly because i was holding out for exiting the golden state in favor of greener (read: cheaper, more seasonal) pastures. friends of ours (who also work for google) recently moved to Colorado and have found it to perfectly suit their needs and desires. we went to visit them sans fils (thanks to a well-timed visit from Grandma Corinne--you're the best!) and came home feeling that, while our friends' move to CO was the perfect thing for them, it was not the perfect thing for us at this juncture.

so that's how we spent january--looking for a house. in february, we found a house, made an offer, got accepted, and then proceeded to agonize over a lender, choose a lender, and sign at least 4,000 documents (i wish i were exaggerating more). we closed escrow on time, and this month we've been making arrangements for the move, and now moving day is almost upon us! we are scheduled to move on tuesday next.

meanwhile, we're still living our lives and enjoying the cuteness that belongs to parenthood. reed is our greeter. he says, "hi!" and "bye!" to everyone we pass--he even asks me to open his window so he can say hi to people as we're driving. he talks and sings all the time. my favorite is when he leaves my room, closing the door as he leaves, and says, "goo' night, mommy. i yeh you!" (in case that was too cryptic: "good night, mommy. i love you!") this is in the middle of the day, and sometimes while he is still eating his breakfast.

max has become something of a philosopher over the past few months. he really thinks about things, and then lets us in on his process.

this morning max said, "is it morning?"

"yes, it's morning."

"yeah, it's not time for dessert."

other funny max quotes that come to mind: "mom, when something is too hot, i lose my muscles."

"are these sunday socks?"

"no, sunday socks are dark."

"yeah, these are my wednesday socks! they give me running power!"

in case you didn't already know, max is a superhero. he zooms around with his complex lego creations (usually spaceships), singing his theme music (usually star wars), complete with sound effects. he even dreams it. i hear him in the middle of the night making light saber noises or some other kind of dramatic sound. here is a kid who has no trouble entertaining himself. :) he is also very aware of his brothers. he always wants to save part of his snacks for dean when he comes home from school, which i find very sweet.

dean is coming to grips with switching schools and houses, but had a total breakdown when we initially told him we were moving. he is reading like a pro now, even in the scriptures. his current obsession is a computer game that is amazingly motivating. he gets to play in the morning before school if he can get all ready beforehand. and for the past few weeks, he has been ready to go to school, shoes on, teeth brushed, bag packed, by 7:20 (go time is 8:00). he also knows how to start a load of laundry. he's turning into quite the big man.

next week dean will start formal piano lessons with a lady in our ward. he showed interest in playing and Grandma Corinne taught him some while troy and i were in CO, and since then i've tried to give him a lesson or two, but he rolls his eyes and sighs a lot, and nothing i say seems to change anything, so i figure we'll give it a shot with a third party and see how he does.

baby #4 is treating me well, but i'm really grateful that we are hiring movers this time to pack us. my back gives out at the slightest provocation. the boys have gotten really good at leaving me alone when i tell them i need to lie down. i just have to deal with differing levels of destruction when i emerge. troy is happy at work. his boss is thrilled that we're staying in the area. we will see where our final destination takes us. :)

best near-disaster so far today

so i'm being lazy, still in my PJs, in my bed, at 10 am. my kids are kind of roaming the house looking for things to do. suddenly reed and max walk into my room, reed holding a bowl of an unidentified dark liquid, filled almost to the brim.

"what is that?!" i say, trying and failing to keep my voice in check.

"syrup," says max, with a shrug.

"syrup?"

"yeah," he sounds almost bored, as if it should be obvious why his 2-year-old brother should be wandering the house with a bowl full of syrup.

i sprint to the kitchen, expecting every surface covered in maple syrup.

but i am delighted to find that the mess is confined to one small section of counter top, and that most of the spill accompanying the pour from the syrup jar to the bowl is sopped up by a paper towel. all i have to do is un-sticky the handle of the stool pushed up against the counter, and finish wiping up what's left of the puddle.

sometimes my kids surprise me.

the near future

all right, so it's the near future, and still no pictures in promised posts have materialized. i apologize. allow me to dazzle you with text instead.

recent events:

Tuesday before Thanksgiving we went to Disneyland as a family. Troy even took a day off work. :) Crowds were a bit lighter than expected, and a good time was had by all.

http://picasaweb.google.com/troywalk/ThanksgivingDisneyland?feat=content_notification#

Thanksgiving we spent with Aunt Mary Alice and company, which was very fun. We haven't seen much of her crew for a long time, so it was fun to catch up and just be comfortable extended family. Plus, any event with pie at the end is a good event.

Once December was upon us, we had to get a tree. Yes, a real one. And yes, it is impossible to go cut your own if you live in LA. But we also didn't need snow boots or four-wheel drive. We satisfied ourselves with going to Target. Except they didn't have trees. So we headed to Home Depot instead. And so did everyone else. But we got a tree, and Troy manfully hauled it through the makeshift forest while we waited in line to pay for said tree. And we're hoping that in the process we didn't discourage anyone around us in line from having children in the future. Maybe everyone just enjoyed the jollity. We got the tree home and discovered that the trunk was a mite too large for our stand. Troy retrieved his faithful ancestral blade (a buck knife with "T. Walker" engraved on its sheath, inherited from his grandfather, Troy Walker) and whittled down the trunk until it did fit in our stand. Our living room is still not satisfactorily arranged to accommodate the "living" and the tree, but we're making do.

Reed managed to turn two without a single shot taken of him, big moment or small. I have failed him as a mother, and all of you who wanted pictures of him. He hasn't changed much since those pre-Thanksgiving pics taken at Disneyland. Although it is a shame that we didn't take a picture of the cake either. It was straight out of a magazine, I tell you. One of these days I'm going to take a class and get really good at it. For now my technique is purely gleaned from TV.

Reed opened several presents on his big day, the contents of which have mostly been commandeered by his older brothers. I'm hoping by Christmas they'll let him play with his own stuff. The winner among the presents, as measured by playtime since, is definitely the motorized trains. Thank you, Grandma Corinne! When they decide that sharing is a good idea, it's pretty great. :) Tonight, I asked each boy what part of the day was their favorite, and Max answered, "when i got to play trains with Dean and Reed."

We even had a little party here, and then a reprise on Monday to further spread the cake joy, since otherwise I would have finished it myself and felt guilty for a few minutes. :)

I really enjoy Christmas and everything that goes along with the season. My favorite, though, is being able to participate in as much music-making as possible. (okay, it's neck and neck with all the yummy treats people bust out right about now) We've already had more than one Family Night that involved choosing favorite Christmas songs. This year I am involved in more music than in years past, probably because we're not traveling! Whatever the reason, I'm extremely happy to be able to play my flute, play piano, and sing, in choirs and solo, music that I love so deeply. Troy encourages me in all of this, even though it means I'm gone for chunks of Sunday afternoons and evenings and he is putting children to bed alone. It makes for a strange schedule, and I'm glad it won't last, but it's been really fun.

That's all for now, folks. Tune in next month I guess. :)

we're still alive

i just looked and my last post was kind of a long time ago...

since march, several things have happened, the most life-changing of which is that we moved to a little house (post with pictures to follow, i promise) in our neighborhood so that Dean wouldn't have to change schools and we wouldn't have to disrupt our lives too much.

also life-changing for me: Andrea moved to Idaho in July, the day before Dean's 6th birthday. i do mean life-changing. there are so many ways i miss her that i can't begin to enumerate them. i'm functioning well, but it's an effort. having spent so much time with her in the past and watched how she is with people has given me inspiration for how to be now that she's gone. it's like i'm trying to fill in for her. i don't know if that even makes sense, but it's the best way i can think of to put it into words.

much of Troy's family came to see us in July, and the two of us got a vacation to San Francisco while Grandma stayed with the kids. and on top of keeping them occupied for seven days while we were gone, she got Max potty trained--or at least started on the path. we're still cleaning up puddles and clods now and again, but he's doing really well! extra points for Grandma! thank you again for volunteering to stay with my three hoodlums and let us have some time to reconnect. we had a great time!

the rest of the summer was pretty lazy and unstructured, which was fun, and then it was really time for school to start again. :) and now here we are, after Halloween!

so this is really a bit of a preview post. i have pictures and more details but didn't want to worry about putting them in order or pretending that all these things had just happened. they didn't. it was a while ago, and i'm just now getting back to the blog.

anyway there you have it, loyal readers. i'm committing to several posts in the near future.

the glamorous life

ok folks. today i went to the park to meet up with a couple of friends. i hadn't been to this park in a while, and i don't really like it that much because it's always kind of crowded, and there's a beautiful duck pond where you can get really close to the water, which is heart-attack city for moms of young children, which is exactly who goes there all the time. but i was prepared for these considerations since i am quite familiar with the park.

i got there first, and noticed there was no parking on the block where the park is because there were a bunch of trucks parked there. the better part of the playground had been taped off, there were tables set up a ways off, all with the same bright blue table cloths, and there were a couple of catering trucks. i pulled up next to one where there were a couple of people hanging out and asked what was going on. they were shooting, like, all day, and you can maybe play on the fringes of the park that isn't roped off, but we have a permit. thanks!

several kids had breached the caution tape, and i figured, they probably won't start actually shooting for a while, so we'll get out when they kick us out. my friends arrived about 10 minutes before that happened, and then we were cast out into the unsafe-for-kids part(s) of the park. and there's only so much time you can spend running after kids who insist on running away towards the murky green duck-poop-algae water before your nerves are frayed. max kept looking for bridges across the water, which were at the other end of the park to where we were trying to play together, so i finally just bowed out as gracefully as i could. i let max look at the water and run across the bridges a little before heading back.

but it wasn't enough for the trucks to take up all the parking--they took up most of the sidewalk too, so we got to walk all slanty-like on the grass back up to our car. but, if you happen to see an apple commercial of kids playing in a sunny santa monica park, we were some of the people they had to kick out of the park so they wouldn't have to pay us. :) i love hollywood.

but the weather sure is nice!

The first T-Rex scene of Jurassic Park as told by a 3 year old:

The big dinosaur is on the street!
And the man needed to go to the potty.
and the man said aaah and shut the door!
and the dinosaur BROKE the potty.
and he EAT him!

A Day at the Zoo

Hi folks. I know it's been quite a while since I posted anything. But lest ye think we've totally dropped off the face of the earth, here is a little slide show provided by my friend, Star. She came with me so I wouldn't lose any children or my mind, and graciously took pictures of us.

Sidenote: I've never embedded a slideshow, but I thought it would save you the trouble of scrolling down for 4 days. I wrote captions for these pictures and I hope they show up. Here goes. :)

If you click on the pictures you can jump into my picasa web album and see them bigger, and without the captions taking up half the picture.

first day of school

We walked to school for the first time this morning. Dean wanted to ride his bike, so here he is. I think he was watching a garbage truck, but it's kind of wistful too. Maybe I'm just a sentimental mom. Either way, there's my little boy with his big backpack, on his way to school.

We found Dean's name in the Kindergarten/First grade split class. Here he is, telling the kid across from him that he's funny. I don't think he had said or done anything, but Dean was laughing anyway. A few of the kids could find their own names and went to their desks. Dean was one of these. :) I still can't believe he's in school! I guess it'll sink in pretty soon.

After orientation, Dean and his classmates went back to the classroom. The teachers said the parents could hang out for maybe 20 minutes, and then go on our merry way. I tried to linger, but Dean said, "Mom, could you leave the classroom? It's just for kids." So I guess there are no attachment issues! Go Dean!

we love SMFD!

Yesterday was eventful. I like to think that everything added up to this one cool experience for the boys. I needed to go replace the UV filter for my camera, and I was waiting for Reed to wake up from his morning nap. Max woke him up a bit prematurely, which annoyed me because I was about to fall asleep myself while I was waiting. But I got everybody ready to go and we were off to the camera store. This camera store is special because it used to be a model trains store, with a very cool display in the back. When the camera store moved in, they kept the model trains there and the train store is now across the street. At any rate, the boys were totally enthralled and wishing I would take longer with my business in the front of the store. Needless to say, they were not happy (and very vocal) about leaving.

It was still early, so I suggested we go to the park next to the Santa Monica airport. I wasn't sure how long we would stay or anything, but it occurred to me that we would get hungry, so we stopped at a sandwich shop right across the street from the park. While we were waiting for our sandwiches, a tall man in a blue uniform approached me and said, "Excuse me, ma'am? Would your boys like a sticker?" He had little SMFD shield stickers in his hand. "Of course!" I said. As soon as Dean saw them, he recognized their very glamourous profession and asked if they had a fire truck. "Yeah, it's parked right outside by the fire hydrant." And then he and his mates took Dean and Max outside to see the fire engine! I stood in the doorway of the shop and watched them go back and forth between the firetruck and me. At one point they disappeared for a minute, and then came back wearing fireman hats.Here they are with the firemen once we all had our food and were ready to leave. I just happened to have my camera with me so I could record this very cool happening. :) The firemen were so patient and just wonderful with the boys. I loved it that I wasn't trying to keep them quiet while we waited for our sandwiches to be ready. They showed them the truck, I saw lights flashing at some point, and they were just really nice. Way to go, Santa Monica Fire Department! Thanks for making our day!

Aren't they so cute? Dean was showing me his sticker (he put his on his shoulder so he would look like the firemen, with their badges on their shoulders).

I didn't want Reed to feel left out, so I took a picture of him too. He didn't have a sticker or a fireman hat. Next time, Reed!

Later on, Dean made a truck that he wanted to take a picture of. He posed with it, wearing his fireman hat, of course. What a fun day!

dean's uncanny musical memory manifests again

while we were in boston visiting troy's folks, we watched a lot of youtube clips, one of which was this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3d6SFcDys

it's two songs: one by taylor swift and one by coldplay. when we got in the car this morning (a month later, not having heard either one in all that time), the coldplay song was on the radio. dean gasped and said, "mom! did we have this song in massachusetts?!" why, yes, we did.

there followed a most eventful trip to the grocery store, in which max ran away (luckily into the grocery store), dean caused a dirty look to be shot at mommy, and one lady asked, with complete disbelief, "are all of them yours?" yes! i have three children, not ten! and then i was thinking some very uncharitable thoughts, which did not bode well for getting everyone home, groceries away, lunch on the table, without some strife and much screaming. but all is well now. naptime is more of a gift some days than others. today, it was a gift. i just hope my children forgive me someday for learning how to be a parent on them.

Male Bonding

In June, the oldest three males went camping on the central California coast. Here are some pictures of our fun day

The construction crew rests after helping raise the temporary shelter

Yay! Camping!!!

The intrepid explorers

FHE hilarity

so monday night, we had family home evening about the pioneers, since our ward picnic is this saturday and it's pioneer day this month. troy gave the lesson, and used some pictures from the gospel art picture kit, including one of a wagon train crossing the frozen mississippi. in the wagon train there are some wagons with horses pulling them, and some with oxen pulling them. troy mentioned in passing that those who had more money would have used horses, and those with less money would have had cows (oxen) to pull their wagon. he continued with other pictures, and then was stacking the pictures up and then asked dean about the frozen river or something. dean was still focused on the horses and oxen. he said, "were the cows on sale?"

then he was confused because mommy was laughing so hard for so long. :) kids are funny.

addendum

another example of dean's amazing mind yesterday:
i was listening to michael buble in the kitchen, doing dishes, and dean wanders in and says, "mom, this isn't the nemo song!"
for those of you not quite as familiar with finding nemo as we are around here, he was referring to the song "beyond the sea," which is played at the end of finding nemo, and is in the same style as the michael buble songs that i was listening to. i was impressed. :) but i'm his mom.
anyway i've decided to write these things down somewhere so i don't forget them. that way we can say, i always knew you were going to be a musician! or an engineer! or whatever. so i can be right, no matter what he turns out to be. :)

my child is a genius

today i was impressed with dean's ingenuity.
first, he was using his Rocky crane car (the one that doesn't have its own engine--it needs Gordon to pull it around) to grab cars that had fallen off the tracks. one of the cars we have has a little log that tends to fall off often. so dean wanted to use Rocky to pick up the log, and when he couldn't use the magnet on the end of Rocky's crane arm to pick up the log, he asked me what the log was made of. "is it made of metal?" "no, dean, it's made of wood." "oh. here's a paper clip. paper clips are metal, right mom?" "yes, dean." and then he proceeded to attach a paper clip to it so he could play the way he wanted to.
later, i couldn't see what he was doing because i was playing with the baby. but he was apparently still thinking about magnets and metal:
"mom, are metals made of magnets?"
"what?"
"oh. i mean, are magnets made of metal?"
"yes"
"are batteries metal?"
"parts of them--the ends are metal, so they can conduct electricity"
"oh."
then i had to look and see what he was doing.
he had taken a bunch of AAA batteries from a drawer in our bedroom, and was loading them into the micromachines container, again using Rocky.

in other news, max correctly identified the colors of several objects this evening. max also did a hilarious dance with a mini maraca to entertain his baby brother. reed was laughing hysterically and it was pretty darn cute to watch.

it's just hair

so my hair was getting out of control. i didn't like the way the layers were lying. i was convinced it looked like i had extensions in, even though it was all my hair. does everyone else have such distinct hair textures on one head of hair? i don't know. but that was my main complaint.

so i decided i wanted to have short hair again for a while. last time i cut it short dean was a baby. and he's almost five. so when i told my friend/hair stylist that i wanted to cut it all off, she measured it and said i had enough to make a wig and why don't i donate it? and i've never done that before, so i decided to go for it! of course i didn't bring my camera, but she had hers, so she chronicled my transformation and made this lovely collage for me to post on my blog of her handiwork. she did a great job (on the collage AND the haircut--way to go, angela!)

bear in mind, however, that i have been growing my hair out for the past four years or so, and now suddenly it doesn't hang past my chin. i think my biggest problem is how i'm realizing that i expect different personalities based on the length of hair. it sounds kind of silly, i know. but think about it. when a woman is described as having long flowing hair, i get a kind of romantic vision of what kind of person she is. when a woman is described as having hair up to her chin, i think of a chic and sleek kind of girl, or just cute. these are very different images in my mind. so, how does one go from romantic to chic in a matter of minutes? i don't know. i recognize my own reflection now, at least, and i'm thinking of things to do with it besides leave it down all the time.

when we left angela's house, dean told me i had "boy hair" and that he didn't like it. he hasn't said much about it since then, but i'm glad i don't hang my identity on my hair--anymore. i was surprised at how purely physical the change was. i didn't lie awake at night mourning the loss of my "one beauty," nor did i think i looked like a whole new person who would be suddenly captivating with my new haircut. i'm still me, just with less hair. :)