as i woke up this morning to the sound of my struggling baby and looked at the clock, i really resented the fact that i was the only one in the house who had to be awake at 4:49 am. it was very warm in my bed, and quite chilly outside it. so as i got up and donned my robe, picked up my hungry child and settled into feeding posture, i decided i needed to do a gratitude exercise. so before i need to get out of bed for real and face my day, i wanted to post about what i came up with at 5 am.
1. my baby goes to bed at a reasonable hour most nights (almost always before midnight, usually before 11), and doesn't wake up until close to 5, sometimes more like 6. that's miraculous for a two-month-old. plenty of people get up at that time and stay up--start the day--but i am allowed to go back to bed for a couple of hours. and maybe other new moms should not be reading this so that they will still be friends with me.
2. i am not the driver of the large vehicles i heard go down my street at 5 am. what time did they have to get up to be driving the garbage truck down my street that early?
3. i have a husband. that in itself is something to be grateful for, but my husband is also the most generous, selfless, wonderful man, and for some reason he decided that i was worthy of his attention forever. i'll never understand how i got so lucky. but besides that miracle, he is an amazing husband and father, always stepping in to help at the right moment. this morning he dealt with dean's poop while i lay in bed. what a man!
4. i had a happy childhood. despite the guilt my parents may feel about their behavior while they were figuring out how to be parents (which i mention only because i now know how they must have felt), i came out of it knowing i was loved, and a whole person, and able to forgive their mistakes--knowing they are human too. that all gives me hope that my kids will be able to forgive me when they have kids.
5. i am living the life i always dreamed of, and i'm learning more and more that it really is the life i want. it's taken me three kids to arrive at this place where i have what i want and want what i have--even if it means getting up at 5 am to feed a baby for a little while--but i'm here now, and my life is great.
i got warm again, after getting out of bed so early. my baby also has an amazing knack for settling down quickly once he's fed.
and that was way more fun than a list of complaints.
1 comment:
Way to find the positive that early in the morning. I was up emailing YW stuff this morning at 5am. Nathan is now sleeping from around midnight-5am and then he goes back to sleep for another 3-4 hours. I'm lovin' it.
Glad you are having a great time with three.
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