we love SMFD!

Yesterday was eventful. I like to think that everything added up to this one cool experience for the boys. I needed to go replace the UV filter for my camera, and I was waiting for Reed to wake up from his morning nap. Max woke him up a bit prematurely, which annoyed me because I was about to fall asleep myself while I was waiting. But I got everybody ready to go and we were off to the camera store. This camera store is special because it used to be a model trains store, with a very cool display in the back. When the camera store moved in, they kept the model trains there and the train store is now across the street. At any rate, the boys were totally enthralled and wishing I would take longer with my business in the front of the store. Needless to say, they were not happy (and very vocal) about leaving.

It was still early, so I suggested we go to the park next to the Santa Monica airport. I wasn't sure how long we would stay or anything, but it occurred to me that we would get hungry, so we stopped at a sandwich shop right across the street from the park. While we were waiting for our sandwiches, a tall man in a blue uniform approached me and said, "Excuse me, ma'am? Would your boys like a sticker?" He had little SMFD shield stickers in his hand. "Of course!" I said. As soon as Dean saw them, he recognized their very glamourous profession and asked if they had a fire truck. "Yeah, it's parked right outside by the fire hydrant." And then he and his mates took Dean and Max outside to see the fire engine! I stood in the doorway of the shop and watched them go back and forth between the firetruck and me. At one point they disappeared for a minute, and then came back wearing fireman hats.Here they are with the firemen once we all had our food and were ready to leave. I just happened to have my camera with me so I could record this very cool happening. :) The firemen were so patient and just wonderful with the boys. I loved it that I wasn't trying to keep them quiet while we waited for our sandwiches to be ready. They showed them the truck, I saw lights flashing at some point, and they were just really nice. Way to go, Santa Monica Fire Department! Thanks for making our day!

Aren't they so cute? Dean was showing me his sticker (he put his on his shoulder so he would look like the firemen, with their badges on their shoulders).

I didn't want Reed to feel left out, so I took a picture of him too. He didn't have a sticker or a fireman hat. Next time, Reed!

Later on, Dean made a truck that he wanted to take a picture of. He posed with it, wearing his fireman hat, of course. What a fun day!

dean's uncanny musical memory manifests again

while we were in boston visiting troy's folks, we watched a lot of youtube clips, one of which was this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3d6SFcDys

it's two songs: one by taylor swift and one by coldplay. when we got in the car this morning (a month later, not having heard either one in all that time), the coldplay song was on the radio. dean gasped and said, "mom! did we have this song in massachusetts?!" why, yes, we did.

there followed a most eventful trip to the grocery store, in which max ran away (luckily into the grocery store), dean caused a dirty look to be shot at mommy, and one lady asked, with complete disbelief, "are all of them yours?" yes! i have three children, not ten! and then i was thinking some very uncharitable thoughts, which did not bode well for getting everyone home, groceries away, lunch on the table, without some strife and much screaming. but all is well now. naptime is more of a gift some days than others. today, it was a gift. i just hope my children forgive me someday for learning how to be a parent on them.

Male Bonding

In June, the oldest three males went camping on the central California coast. Here are some pictures of our fun day

The construction crew rests after helping raise the temporary shelter

Yay! Camping!!!

The intrepid explorers

FHE hilarity

so monday night, we had family home evening about the pioneers, since our ward picnic is this saturday and it's pioneer day this month. troy gave the lesson, and used some pictures from the gospel art picture kit, including one of a wagon train crossing the frozen mississippi. in the wagon train there are some wagons with horses pulling them, and some with oxen pulling them. troy mentioned in passing that those who had more money would have used horses, and those with less money would have had cows (oxen) to pull their wagon. he continued with other pictures, and then was stacking the pictures up and then asked dean about the frozen river or something. dean was still focused on the horses and oxen. he said, "were the cows on sale?"

then he was confused because mommy was laughing so hard for so long. :) kids are funny.

addendum

another example of dean's amazing mind yesterday:
i was listening to michael buble in the kitchen, doing dishes, and dean wanders in and says, "mom, this isn't the nemo song!"
for those of you not quite as familiar with finding nemo as we are around here, he was referring to the song "beyond the sea," which is played at the end of finding nemo, and is in the same style as the michael buble songs that i was listening to. i was impressed. :) but i'm his mom.
anyway i've decided to write these things down somewhere so i don't forget them. that way we can say, i always knew you were going to be a musician! or an engineer! or whatever. so i can be right, no matter what he turns out to be. :)

my child is a genius

today i was impressed with dean's ingenuity.
first, he was using his Rocky crane car (the one that doesn't have its own engine--it needs Gordon to pull it around) to grab cars that had fallen off the tracks. one of the cars we have has a little log that tends to fall off often. so dean wanted to use Rocky to pick up the log, and when he couldn't use the magnet on the end of Rocky's crane arm to pick up the log, he asked me what the log was made of. "is it made of metal?" "no, dean, it's made of wood." "oh. here's a paper clip. paper clips are metal, right mom?" "yes, dean." and then he proceeded to attach a paper clip to it so he could play the way he wanted to.
later, i couldn't see what he was doing because i was playing with the baby. but he was apparently still thinking about magnets and metal:
"mom, are metals made of magnets?"
"what?"
"oh. i mean, are magnets made of metal?"
"yes"
"are batteries metal?"
"parts of them--the ends are metal, so they can conduct electricity"
"oh."
then i had to look and see what he was doing.
he had taken a bunch of AAA batteries from a drawer in our bedroom, and was loading them into the micromachines container, again using Rocky.

in other news, max correctly identified the colors of several objects this evening. max also did a hilarious dance with a mini maraca to entertain his baby brother. reed was laughing hysterically and it was pretty darn cute to watch.

it's just hair

so my hair was getting out of control. i didn't like the way the layers were lying. i was convinced it looked like i had extensions in, even though it was all my hair. does everyone else have such distinct hair textures on one head of hair? i don't know. but that was my main complaint.

so i decided i wanted to have short hair again for a while. last time i cut it short dean was a baby. and he's almost five. so when i told my friend/hair stylist that i wanted to cut it all off, she measured it and said i had enough to make a wig and why don't i donate it? and i've never done that before, so i decided to go for it! of course i didn't bring my camera, but she had hers, so she chronicled my transformation and made this lovely collage for me to post on my blog of her handiwork. she did a great job (on the collage AND the haircut--way to go, angela!)

bear in mind, however, that i have been growing my hair out for the past four years or so, and now suddenly it doesn't hang past my chin. i think my biggest problem is how i'm realizing that i expect different personalities based on the length of hair. it sounds kind of silly, i know. but think about it. when a woman is described as having long flowing hair, i get a kind of romantic vision of what kind of person she is. when a woman is described as having hair up to her chin, i think of a chic and sleek kind of girl, or just cute. these are very different images in my mind. so, how does one go from romantic to chic in a matter of minutes? i don't know. i recognize my own reflection now, at least, and i'm thinking of things to do with it besides leave it down all the time.

when we left angela's house, dean told me i had "boy hair" and that he didn't like it. he hasn't said much about it since then, but i'm glad i don't hang my identity on my hair--anymore. i was surprised at how purely physical the change was. i didn't lie awake at night mourning the loss of my "one beauty," nor did i think i looked like a whole new person who would be suddenly captivating with my new haircut. i'm still me, just with less hair. :)

i had a thought

today as i was attempting, ultimately unsuccessfully, to get a nap, i had a thought. dean had just finished watching piglet's big movie and the music was still running through my head. i thought how perfect carly simon's voice fits as piglet's singing voice, and i wondered if the idea to ask her to do the music for the movie came in a flash of inspiration to someone in charge of the music, and whether they acknowledged it as an answer to prayer at all. and then i thought, does it really matter?
and the answer i came up with surprised me. it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things how well the music turned out for a movie that went straight to video. but maybe that was an inspiration to that person at a time of personal stress. maybe that person has great satisfaction about this project they worked on. and maybe the reason God answers little prayers about things that don't matter is that that's how we, the little people, gain the faith necessary to depend on Him in everything. if He answers a prayer about what CD i should put in to listen to right now, He would answer a prayer about whom i should marry. if He answers a prayer about which park i should go to with the kids today, He would answer a prayer about where we should live.
i think the fact that He answers even the insignificant prayers we utter without much formality is also a way for us to gather evidence of how much He loves us. He loves us enough to help us figure out how much soup to make for dinner so that we have enough for an unexpected visitor, or to inspire people to call us when we're feeling down, or to inspire us to extend an invitation to someone who might need our company.
so that was my deep thought this afternoon as i tried to work past the irritation of not being allowed to get a nap to make up for the lack of sleep the night before. but how many opportunities did i have to serve my little children today? i'll just try and think of it that way and stop holding my two-year-old accountable for my cranky mood. am i a grown-up yet?

a valentine's day feast

This is the valentine my husband made for me. dean came into our room and rummaged around in the closet until he found soldering wire. so they were playing with it and i was still pretending to sleep. all of a sudden troy hands me this little heart he fashioned out of wire. and i melted. :)



this is my genius four-year-old eating tofu with chopsticks.


here's max trying to stab his sushi with a chopstick, but getting his soup bowl instead. a moment before, he successfully stabbed a sushi and ate it, but i think the bite was too big and he chickened out on bite-the-size-of-my-head number two.


and here is the man himself, looking dangerous and manly with his chef knife. he's cutting a sushi roll. what a man! (that's dean trying to relieve him of the dangerous knife)

here are the dishes my lovely husband made for dinner on valentine's day:


sushi with fish (first try--looks pretty good!)


cha siu baau! hou hou sihk!


miso soup from scratch. yes, that dark green stuff is seaweed.


pork potstickers.

that is true love, ladies and gentlemen.

name them one by one...

as i woke up this morning to the sound of my struggling baby and looked at the clock, i really resented the fact that i was the only one in the house who had to be awake at 4:49 am. it was very warm in my bed, and quite chilly outside it. so as i got up and donned my robe, picked up my hungry child and settled into feeding posture, i decided i needed to do a gratitude exercise. so before i need to get out of bed for real and face my day, i wanted to post about what i came up with at 5 am.

1. my baby goes to bed at a reasonable hour most nights (almost always before midnight, usually before 11), and doesn't wake up until close to 5, sometimes more like 6. that's miraculous for a two-month-old. plenty of people get up at that time and stay up--start the day--but i am allowed to go back to bed for a couple of hours. and maybe other new moms should not be reading this so that they will still be friends with me.

2. i am not the driver of the large vehicles i heard go down my street at 5 am. what time did they have to get up to be driving the garbage truck down my street that early?

3. i have a husband. that in itself is something to be grateful for, but my husband is also the most generous, selfless, wonderful man, and for some reason he decided that i was worthy of his attention forever. i'll never understand how i got so lucky. but besides that miracle, he is an amazing husband and father, always stepping in to help at the right moment. this morning he dealt with dean's poop while i lay in bed. what a man!

4. i had a happy childhood. despite the guilt my parents may feel about their behavior while they were figuring out how to be parents (which i mention only because i now know how they must have felt), i came out of it knowing i was loved, and a whole person, and able to forgive their mistakes--knowing they are human too. that all gives me hope that my kids will be able to forgive me when they have kids.

5. i am living the life i always dreamed of, and i'm learning more and more that it really is the life i want. it's taken me three kids to arrive at this place where i have what i want and want what i have--even if it means getting up at 5 am to feed a baby for a little while--but i'm here now, and my life is great.

i got warm again, after getting out of bed so early. my baby also has an amazing knack for settling down quickly once he's fed.

and that was way more fun than a list of complaints.

i am superwoman

i just wanted to post while i'm having such a good day. i've had a non-superwoman day or two in recent days, but i'm feeling on top things today because...
drumroll, please...
i, maurine, went to costco with a baby strapped to my chest and two boys in my cart. i spent too much money, probably, but we all came out alive and in good spirits despite the fact that no food was consumed by any of us while in the store. tada!
all please note: my kitchen is not spotless, the living room needs vacuuming, and my room is still a disaster. but i'm still proud of what i accomplished today, and very proud of my boys for being so patient (or asleep, in reed's case) in the store. i got many amazed looks from other costco shoppers, and one man even said, "you're my new hero!" to me. so i'm basically superwoman. :)

in other news, dean has done all of his excreting in the proper receptacle so far today. also, max stayed in his bed all night last night. and reed, angel child, slept 8 hours in a row. and my bachelor brother just got engaged less than an hour ago! what more could i ask for? this is a good day and i wanted to document part of it, at least, so i can remember that i have good days too.

so there we have it. life is officially good.

another word or two about the cake

max liked the cake. he was more interested in eating the sprinkles off the cake than the actual cake, i think, but he still managed to cover his face in frosting. but what else do you expect from a little boy turning two?

so i was really proud of this cake. i was pleased that the size of the bowls i used to bake the ears was right. i learned how to draw mickey and practiced ad infinitum as a kid. but it's been a few years, so i was surprised at how well the face turned out, especially since i haven't used a piping bag for at least ten years. i kind of want to decorate cakes more. that was really fun! maybe i'll actually make and decorate cookies for a holiday in the near future. and post more pictures!

ok now i've had my say about the details surrounding max's second birthday. you may go back to your lives, citizens.

Max turned two.  Here's a video of the event.  We sang a lot.  Maurine made an impressive cake.  Pictures at at Picasa Web Albums:  http://picasaweb.google.com/troywalk/MaxBirthdayNumberTwo

max the real boy

here's one last look at those pretty curls. i have to say it was a bittersweet moment for me. as much as i loved seeing those curls, his hair was just too long. and you can't tell that well from the pictures, but the texture and color of his hair has changed since his last haircut.
so now i can see his big brown eyes without having to move his hair out of the way. still irresistably cute, and now less likely to be asked whether he's a girl. :) also, i'm no longer tempted to do his hair in pigtails or a clip to keep it out of his eyes. i just hope, when i do have a girl, that she has hair like max's! not to mention the eyelashes. goodness gracious.

more christmas fun

i think someone told max "no" or something. i just love that shot--it's so telling. think maybe he's near two years old? anyone?


dean decided he needed to do maintenance on his bike, as you can see, and apparently he thought he was also in danger of falling or otherwise injuring himself while doing maintenance on his bike as well as riding it.
i had to grab the camera when i noticed that dean wouldn't take off his bike gear to eat lunch. can't be too careful, i always say.
the last two shots are the boys actually on their bikes. dean got a little farther than max on his first try. :) but he's the big brother, after all. i'm sure max will get it eventually. and maybe someday we'll find a helmet that fits that head!

i hope everyone had a wonderful christmas. i find myself very full of gratitude. i'm grateful for new beginnings and new discoveries and new pajama bottoms. :) i'm more grateful every day for my three little boys and my husband, who together make my life worth living. i'm grateful that we have a reason to celebrate christmas.

we all had a wonderful time with our family who came to visit. thank you to everyone who made this christmas so memorable. we love you all!

christmas at home

we had a quiet christmas day, just our little family. we bought our tree from the parking lot of the grocery store a block or two away. the man who helped us was really nice. he was a good sport about dean's endless questions. isn't it a beauty? can you tell where max could reach the ornaments? :)
the bikes pretty much saved dean's christmas. i had been reading the polar express to the boys for about a week before christmas, and i think that's where his idea of a christmas wish came from. after every present that wasn't a semi-truck, dean would say, "oh no! it's the wrong present!" when the bikes came out, though, he seemed to forget about it. now he's just letting us know that he wants a semi-truck for his birthday. max hasn't totally shared dean's interest in the bike, probably because his balance on his own two feet is still somewhat lacking. but they sure were cute on their bikes on christmas day!

somewhere here you can see what santa brought. (i'm giving up trying to make the text match the pictures.)aren't those wall e dolls the coolest? the mini shoes and hat were for reed. the hat, actually, was handmade for reed by his talented aunt hailey. gotta love the christmas tree hat! as you can see from the picture, reed loves it too. :) thanks, aunt hailey!

thanks mom!

just wanted to say thanks to my wonderful mother. i can't believe you squeezed another kid into the space between my kids. we've talked before about how maybe the only reason it worked out that way for you was so that others would be inspired. "well, she had FOUR by the time her oldest was four and a half! i should be GRATEFUL for this level of order!"

i still marvel that we all turned out so well and that you, dear mother, are still sane. thanks for coming to help us out. you had some nasty messes to clean up thanks to the lovely stomach bug that worked its way through our family and yours (and on to the walkers, who came later, after we thought the bug was done!), but you soldiered on. you took the night shift so that i could go right back to bed after feeding the baby. you did dishes so we could just sit once dean and max were in bed. thank you, once again, for coming to ease the transition from one baby to the next. you're awesome!

p.s. i thank you for buying twilight for me. i don't know how troy feels about that, exactly, considering how the next few weeks went for him while i was in forks. :)

reed benjamin makes his appearance

yay! reed finally came! don't i look fabulous!
the play-by-play:
10:00 am - drop off dean and max at our friend's house while we are at the hospital
10:30 am - get to the hospital, get hooked up to monitors, which show that contractions are not regular or productive. how typical.
11:30 am - dr arrives, checks me. no, my water isn't broken, and no i'm not in labor. BUT--i am dilated to a 5! so she breaks my water, tells me to get an epidural sooner rather than later.
12:00 pm - epidural man arrives!
4:00 pm - still dilated to a 5. pitocin drip begins.
5:30 pm - PUSH! carefully--the cord is wrapped around his neck.
5:46 pm - reed is born. he's blue, until he gets rubbed down and sucked out. then he pinks up and cries out.

the stats:
name: reed benjamin walker
birthweight: 8 lb 13 oz
length: 19 1/2 inches
time of birth: 5:46 pm
date of birth: 5 december 2008


and here are his perfect little limbs.

big brothers dean and max greet the new little one.

mom and dad with reed. picture taken by my cousin kim. thanks for coming down, kim! i felt so loved to have a visitor in the hospital. :)

yes, they still insist on a wheelchair. and yes, troy insisted on taking pictures all the way from the room to the car. but i won't post all the pictures of me descending the ramp to the parking lot. we'll just keep those to ourselves.

you're welcome.

just one more week...

until grandma gets here to await baby's arrival. :) i make no promises about when that date will actually be. i do know that i will be 40 weeks one week from today. so take that as you will.

in the past two weeks, we've had some adventures. it started last weekend when Dean puked over the side of his bed. that was awesome. two days later Max got sick (but not on the carpet this time, thankfully). the adults managed to escape this little virus, but it made for a few days of stir-crazy mommy and kiddos. it was also when the wildfires were close to us, causing much smoke in the air--so much so that there were advisories about whether schools would cancel because of the air quality. so we didn't leave the apartment for about three days. the saving grace was when my friend came over to help me. i was kind of joking when i said, "well, we can start in the kitchen, and then there are bathrooms and vacuuming to do," and she said, "ok!" and we went to work! she emptied the sink of dishes, scrubbed the stove, took out the trash, and then moved on to the dining area while i wiped down counters, scrubbed burners, and cleaned the floor. i think just being around someone who had some energy did wonders, but the fact that she got started on the seemingly herculean task of cleaning my house really helped me feel like i could do something. we each have two boys roughly the same ages, so they were playing happily most of the time we were cleaning. after she left i finished vacuuming the living area, which i have been meaning to do for a couple weeks but felt too daunted to start.
the three days before thanksgiving i was extremely blessed by friends who knew i was suffering. i was able to get a pedicure, go to the dr. sans children, and go christmas shopping sans children. and rather than feel guilty about having other people watch my kids this week, i have just felt rejuvenated. when was the last time i spent an hour in a bookstore?
and then troy was home for a long weekend! my lovely husband scrubbed our bathroom floor this weekend, on his hands and knees! i've been able to stay in bed in the morning and get naps in the afternoons because he's been home. it's been so nice to have so much help and really not feel like i have to do it all but can't because my body won't let me. delegate!

we got pretty lucky as far as thanksgiving was concerned: we got to do it twice! and make pies! thanksgiving day we went to aunt mary alice's house and spent the day with her children and grandchildren and a couple of in-laws of her children. lots of good food, and card games into the night. saturday we went to aunt heidi's house and spent the evening with her and aunt dori and their families. i was expecting leftovers and maybe fresh mashed potatoes or something, but no. this was a whole other turkey, stuffing, yams, mashed potatoes, the works. it was great! and all the cooking i ended up doing was a pumpkin pie. troy did the rest of the pie-baking: an apple pie and chocolate pudding pie for thanksgiving at aunt mary alice's, and then another apple pie to bring with my pumpkin pie to aunt heidi's. he's really good at peeling apples! :)

another blessing i feel much more because i'm so pregnant right now: the weather has cooled off considerably this weekend. it actually rained early this week, and today i don't think it got warmer than 70 degrees. AND it's foggy. love it! (i know, for all of you living in harsh climates, it's hard to hear me complain about the weather in southern california, but the metaphor of "cooking" a "bun in the oven" has a sure foundation in the collective experience of expectant mothers.)

so we end the week on an up. thank you to all who are praying for us, and especially for the little babe inside me. he's strong, trust me! now we're just praying for patience and a speedy delivery. i've never done well in the homestretch of a pregnancy, but i'm trying! my bag is packed and in the car, even! i'm ready to go. :) so thank you for all your help and prayers.

more recent news

of course, foremost in my mind is the countdown to baby's arrival. today marks 37 weeks. huzzah! i'm down to weekly dr. visits, and i'm feeling guilty that my bag isn't packed yet. i guess i subconsciously don't believe it "could happen any time now." then again, i was induced twice. anyway, highlights from the past week or so:
1. the election is over!
2. prop 8 passed! (although it doesn't feel over on that one)
3. Wicked was amazing. really thought-provoking story, witty dialogue, great music. kudos to troy for getting tickets and initiating a date!
4. dean got his first "big poop" prize--rocky the crane car. all he could talk about once it was out of the package was taking it to kansas grandma's house so rocky could help gordon get back on the tracks. so, kansas grandma, we're coming for you! (for those of you unfamiliar with our potty training terminology, a "big poop" is one that is completely on the toilet--not some here, some there, let's pick some up from anywhere)
5. the weather cooled off for a couple days. that was awesome. i wore long sleeves one day, even.
6. i got to play my flute with the stake choir in stake conference today. i think the practices were more fun, but it's such a pretty piece, and several people commented on my playing afterwards. yay mommy!

things i learned (maybe for the first time, maybe again)
1. protests that block the streets make it hard to get from our house to the theater in under two hours. (our date just happened to be the same night as the protest in front of the temple, causing the temple and sections of santa monica blvd to shut down, which made traffic, well, wicked.)
2. expecting to complete three errands in the same outing, with two kids in tow, is just too ambitious for one as pregnant as i.
3. expecting to be able to recover from such a morning quickly is also too ambitious for one as pregnant as i.
4. the secret to a clean (enough) house is just doing something every single day.
5. it's really okay to call someone for help when i find myself drowning--it's what friends are for. i don't have to do everything myself. (thanks, ellen!)
6. the list of things that need to be done is often shorter on paper than it is when everything is swimming around in my head. and not everything is really an all-day project, even though it seems that way. deciding to do one thing per day and then actually doing it is really satisfying.
7. i can change the mood in our house by singing a song.
8. potty training really is a process. all processes have ups and downs. the bottom line is, as long as progress is being made, things are moving in the right direction.

parting thoughts:
perspective breeds patience. when you step back far enough, an hour, a day, a month gets shorter in the grand scheme of things. anything that is not eternal is temporary. we need to use the stages in our lives to learn eternal truths that we can take with us.
i need to remind myself of this often, especially when i'm changing diapers or picking up every toy we own again, but knowing that it won't be this way forever is what keeps me going sometimes. i know i will miss things about this time in my life in the future, so i'm trying to just enjoy the ride--and i do, often. my dad told me, "these are the good old days," so i try to think of things that way. these are the stories our kids will crack up about in 10 years and the rest of their lives. life is good.